Writing my way to Alessandria and a rich bitch luxury bathroom

Writing has been my passion since the age of eleven; but I have never made any money to speak of as a writer. Many of you might conclude that the reason is because my writing sucks. Who knows? Maybe you’re right.

I conducted some research a few weeks back, and it seems more people hate this blog than like it. I guess my lack of personality comes through in my writing and that’s not a very good thing when you’re writing a blog. Blogs need to have personality to be successful; and the personality needs to be appealing. I don’t think people who stumble across my blog find my blog personality any more appealing than people who know me find my real life personality appealing.

If your blog doesn’t appeal you won’t make a living from it and I admit that’s what I had hoped to do with this blog. I’ve created and sold a number of blogs over the last couple of years. This one is becoming a bit more personal than I had intended and I suppose that’s why it’s not making me any money. My personality is just not conducive to money-making.

It’s interesting because I used to think I was a very interesting person and a very good writer and that these two qualities would result in fortune at the very least. I’m not quite sure what happened but these days I don’t have the same self-belief. I guess when you keep finishing every day with less than a dollar in earnings after working 17 or 18 hours, you start to measure your worth in fractions of pennies.

I know people don’t understand me. If it’s as bad as I say why don’t I just go get a job? I won’t try to make anyone understand my position. I work for myself and that is all there is to that. Right now, and for the last year I’ve been struggling. It’s been my worse year in a while. Things are pretty bad. I imagined hanging myself today – just for a second. I don’t know what’s going to happen beyond this moment, but all I can do right now is keep on writing. It makes no difference if no one likes my writing. I’m not writing to please anyone right now.  I’m writing to save my life; and also to get to Alessandria where I’ll finally have that luxury bathroom I’ve been wanting for years.

Image: Cracked Dreams by Julianne Hide via Flickr