Do I have what it takes to make money?

I am still trying to maintain a positive focus and to believe in myself despite the temptation to doubt that it’s possible for me to achieve financial success. A big part of my problem is that I don’t really have any expert skill that I can easily capitalize on.

So far this year I’ve been making money developing and selling websites. I’ve been able to sell most of the sites that I’ve tried to sell, but I didn’t make much money from the sales because the sites weren’t prime virtual real estate. I still own a number of websites that I’m developing for sale but I seem to lack a key skill that separates the people making significant money in virtual real estate sales from the ones like me for whom this business would only be worthwhile with thousands of websites for sale every month. As it stands I can’t afford to develop thousands of websites at a time and what it’s costing to grow a site to the point of being worth a few hundred dollars is proving to be more than I’m getting for the sites at the end of the day. So unless I can figure out a way to increase the value of the sites I develop and reduce the cost to develop them, I need to find another means for making money.

I’ve tried capitalizing on my artistic skills, but I’ve had no luck selling my art prints on Ebay. I’ve tried putting my computer programming skills to use by developing and selling software. I made enough money for a few years to keep the bills paid, but I couldn’t deal with the stress and eventually quit. So what am I left with? My lifelong dream has always been to be a bestselling author, but my depression has done what appears to be permanent damage to my imagination. I don’t dream up stories and people any more and the ones I dreamed up when I used to live to write, although they are still alive in my soul somewhere I can’t convince myself that anyone will give a damn about them and their story. Besides, it’s not as easy for me to write fiction as it used to be. Depression killed a lot of my brain cells.

So if I can’t turn my web development and computer programming skills into millions, and I can’t turn my art and writing into millions, what am I going to do? How am I going to make money? For some women money is something they look to a man to provide. Even if I were one of those women, I married a man who is content making under $2000 per month. I’m not going to become rich through my husband and that has never been my goal or my dream. If I am to become a rich woman, to join the ranks of women with money, it is something I am going to have to do through my own efforts; and I’m all prepared to do it. I have never been short on desire or short on ambition to succeed; but success continues to thwart me and while I continue fighting the temptation to believe I just don’t have what it takes, it is quite honestly getting more difficult every day.