Depressed and suicidal?

Dear Diary, I am depressed. Honestly, I am feeling suicidal. I can understand what drives some people to that point where they feel like there’s no other answer. By comparison to the dilemmas that some people face though, my problem is hardly big. At least I don’t think it’s big, although I’m a bit afraid it could become big. I am hoping it won’t.

What I need to do is take a deep breath. Accept that I made a mistake and let it go for now because I really can’t do anything about it right now. It’s pointless to be depressed and it is even more pointless to be thinking about suicide. What will killing myself do, protect me from having to be embarrassed, from having to face the music, from having to say yes I messed up yet again? Sigh….

I messed up, but it’s okay. Everything is going to be fine. I’ll get over it. Life will go on; and I’ll still have to figure out how to pay my server bill on Tuesday.