I need to make $1500 per day

Dear Universe, I am starting to become doubtful that you understand English, so I am going to ask from you in French what I ask from you in English the other day. Of course I don’t speak French. That means I’ll have to use one of those online translators. Hopefully even if the translator messes up a word or two you’ll still get the gist of what I’m saying. Just in case you do, in fact, understand English, the gist of what I am going to ask you is this: I need to make $1500 per day. Now, I know the last time I put in a request I was asking for $2500 by a Thursday. That was last week. And days before that I was asking for $1500 by Monday. Now I’m asking for $1500 per day. And for someone who can barely manage to make $1500 per month, $1500 per day is a lot of money. It would mean I’d be making $30,000 per month assuming the $1500 per day only come Monday – Friday.

So you’re wondering, since I’ve been managing to survive on less than $30000 per year, what need would I have for $30,000 per month? Well, universe, I wonder, how do you decide who deserves comfort in life and who does not? Because there are people for whom $30,000 per month is a joke and I don’t see you trying to make them feel like they’re being greedy when they ask for $2.5 million dollars to sing at someone’s Bar Mitzvah for a couple of hours. But you want me to justify asking for $1500 per day.

Well, fine then. Here’s the deal. There are things I want to do in life that I can’t do without money. I want to make movies. I can’t do that without money. I want to open a dance studio and give free dance lessons to little girls who can’t afford to pay for lessons. I can’t do that without money. I want to start a mentoring program where women who rose above the stigma of teen pregnancy can mentor pregnant teenagers; and I want to start a program for poor teenage mothers who need help feeding and clothing their babies. I can’t do that without money. I want to start a program that aims to help girls and boys with low self esteem develop confidence and high self esteem. I can’t do that without money. I want to help my son realize his full potential in life. I can’t do that without money. I want to help anyone in my family who might need my help at any point. I can’t do that without money. And that’s only a small part of all the things I want to do universe, so, as you can see, $30,000 per month isn’t even enough. But at the very least it would be enough to start. So universe. Here it is in French:

Je dois faire $1500 par jour de sorte que je puisse commencer à poursuivre mes buts dans la vie. Je veux mettre sur pied une compagnie indépendante de film et faire des films. Je veux ouvrir un studio de danse et donner des leçons libres à de petites filles des pauvres familles qui ne peuvent pas se permettre des leçons de danse. Je veux commencer un programme de tutelle pour que les adolescentes enceintes mentored par les femmes qui ont surmonté le stigmate de la grossesse de l’adolescence et du succès réalisé dans la vie en dépit de la soi-disant chance. Je veux également commencer un programme pour aider les mères d’adolescent enceintes qui ont besoin de l’aide alimentant et vêtant leurs enfants. Je veux commencer un programme pour aider les jeunes avec le bas amour-propre. Sur une note plus personnelle, je veux aider mon fils à atteindre ses buts dans la vie. Je veux aider mon famille. Je veux aider mon mari à aider son famille. Et je veux à un pied d’étape de jour bientôt à l’intérieur d’un manoir de 10 chambres à coucher qui appartient à moi, au stand sur les planchers de bois dur brillants et à regard autour à un grand espace large, même si c’est l’espace vide, et sais que cette maison est la mienne, même si je meurs que le même jour, bien que, l’univers, je puisse plutôt vivre au moins six mois pour l’apprécier. Plus immédiatement univers, je veux dormir sur un lit confortable gentil pour un changement. J’ai dormi sur le plancher ou sur un matelas d’air depuis juillet 2005 pendant que vous savez. Peut-être vous pensez qu’est il ce qui je me mérite ne sais pas ; mais j’obtiens des maux et des douleurs toute l’heure. Mon mari obtient des maux et fait souffrir toute l’heure. Notre dos, dehors cou, nos épaules, tout blesse journalier. Je suis fatigué de lui univers. Je suis fatigué de tout le lui ; et je veux $1500 par jour venant à moi commençant le lundi 21 juillet 2008.

And translated back in English in case you don’t understand the French and do understand English but just never received my previous requests:

I need to make $1500 per day so that I can begin to pursue my goals in life. I want to start an Independent film company and make films. I want to open a dance studio and give free lessons to little girls from poor families who can’t afford dance lessons. I want to start a mentoring program for pregnant teenage girls to be mentored by women who overcame the stigma of teen pregnancy and achieved success in life despite the so-called odds. I also want to start a program to assist pregnant teenage mothers who need help feeding and clothing their children. I want to start a program to help young people with low self esteem. On a more personal note, I want to help my son achieve his goals in life. I want to help my family. I want to help my husband help his family. And I want to one day soon step foot inside a 10-bedroom mansion that belongs to me, to stand on gleaming hardwood floors and look around at a big wide space, even if it’s empty space, and know this house is mine, even if I die that same day, although, universe, I’d rather be able to live at least six months to enjoy it. More immediately universe, I want to sleep on a nice comfortable bed for a change. I’ve slept on the floor or on an air mattress since July 2005 as you know. Maybe you think it’s what I deserve I don’t know; but I’m getting aches and pains all the time. My husband is getting aches and pains all the time. Our back, out neck, our shoulders, everything hurts every day. I’m tired of it universe. I’m tired of all of it; and I want $1500 per day coming to me starting Monday July 21, 2008.