Are you sitting on a million dollar vagina? How your vagina can make you a rich woman

Ok, I probably shouldn’t go there. People already don’t like me. I don’t know why. I guess I’m boring. Or lame. Or boring and lame. Whatever. I’ll tell you a secret though. My vagina hasn’t made me a rich woman but it’s helped me out of a few scrapes in the past. I admit it. I’ve had to cash in on my vagina  a few times. I’ve had to treat my vagina like a commodity more than once in my lifetime.

Seriously though, isn’t that what vaginas are at the end of the day? Let’s be honest with ourselves ladies. Let’s say you’re dating a guy and when things are ready to get hot and heavy you tell him that you won’t ever be able to have sex with him because of some problem you have with your vagina? How long before that budding relationship ends do you think?

No matter how charming he finds you, how sweet, how intelligent, at the end of the day a man signs on to get access to your vagina, and that, my friend, makes your vagina a commodity.

Now let’s face it. Not every woman’s vagina will be worth millions. In fact some women’s vaginas are completely worthless. The 82-year old woman mentioned earlier who is looking for an 18 – 21 year old young man to strip for her, for example, probably couldn’t get a penny if that’s all she was charging for access to her vagina. There’s probably no one out there desperate enough to pay an old woman to use her vagina. There are men out there desperate enough to use an old woman’s vagina if she pays them enough money, but that’s another story.

Determining the worth of your vagina can be tricky. As a general rule of thumb, a blonde’s vagina will usually be worth more than a brunette’s. Naturally there will be some exceptions.  If the blonde is Paris Hilton and the brunette Angelina Jolie then obviously this would be a case where the brunette’s vagina would be worth more than the blonde’s. Additional factors for consideration would be your age, your weight, your family background, your income level, your level of education, how pretty your face is, how big your breasts are, and your race.

White vaginas are generally regarded to be worth more than non-white vaginas.

In fact, there was once a poll on craigslist rating the worth of vaginas, and if memory serves correctly the results ordered from most worthy vaginas to least worthy vaginas were :

1. White vaginas
2. Asian vaginas
3. Hispanic vaginas
4. Black vaginas

So using these as your guide you can get a pretty good idea how much your vagina might be worth. If you’re white, blonde, young, slim, pretty, have big breasts, have a college education and come from a good family you’re potentially sitting on a million dollar vagina.

A million dollar vagina is simply a vagina that some man somewhere is willing to pay a million dollars to penetrate. Remember that movie with Demi Moore, Indecent Proposal? It’s just a matter of being in the right place at the right time or knowing how to create your opportunities.

Side note: If your vagina has been around the block and has the STDs to prove it or you don’t look like a Victoria’s Secret model, or your name is not Angelina Jolie, you should probably not expect to get rich using your vagina as your ticket to wealth.