Another manic monday

It’s not really a manic monday per se. I woke up at 4Am today and did some writing until 7AM. Then I did some work until 9:30AM. At 9:30 I went and made myself some tea and had half of a slice of wheat bread; then I did a little inventory taking so-to-speak. Then I decided to take a break to go watch a little tennis (Wimbledon 2008 is in progress), but I fell asleep and woke up again less than an hour ago. I suppose you could say I’ve just begun my day. I barely remember the hours from 4AM to 11AM but that’s an entire 7 hours of work I completed before falling asleep for 2.5 hours and it feels like I’ve just awaken. I had my shower and have dressed for going to the mall with my son. If we make it I plan to pick up a few books about forex trading because I want to learn about the foreign exchange and currency trading. I explain why in Learning Forex trading. My reason is not profound. I’ve just been doing some work for a new client and have developed an interest in the subject as a result.

I’ve been kind of under the weather for the last few days, not really in the most positive frame of mind especially as regards my marriage. I have real trust issues where my husband is concerned and am starting to believe that there’s only one way to resolve them and that’s to dissolve the marriage; but I want to try to refocus my attention on my ambitions because when I’m focusing on my husband and our laughable marriage I get way to depressed to be any use to myself and right about now I need urgently to find lasting solutions to my financial problems so that, when my husband and I finally stop pretending we have something to hold on to here I won’t have to find myself looking in a predicament of having no money to take care of myself. I’ve always said when my marriage finally ends I want it to end when I’m fully in control of my life so that I can feel hopeful instead of hopeless. I know too well what it’s like to try to get through each day of life when you’re feeling hopeless and desperate. I don’t want to be in a desperate place and feeling hopeless when my marriage ends. I want to be in secure place financially and a healthy place mentally because you need that security and mental strength to deal with the end of a marriage.